Somehow here we are again: it is the last week of school in Austin and summer has arrived. A few days ago our collective mood shifted in the South as the hot hot humid humid temps set up camp, filled up their Yeti cups with iced tea, turned on the porch fan, and won’t be packing up (even after the sun goes down) until nearly Halloween.
It’s ok, we Southerners know the drill. This season requires a different pacing of our daily days, we know it well. We change out our bedding and sheets for light cottons, we move in all the box fans, we ensure that our ice makers work, we set up the sun tea on the back porch, we bring the sunshades into our cars, we get new swimsuits, we buy more sunscreen, we find the perfect hat that also covers our necks, and all outdoor socializing takes place either in the early morning or long after the sun goes down. We collectively begin our rituals of settling in for what will be, as each next summer season gifts us, the hottest one yet. Every household has their version of this list.
Then there is the other shift: school summer “vacation”. I use quotes here because I do not believe that when our kids are home from school that this is a vacation for most of the adults in the room. I am thrilled that my teens are going to get to sleep until they wake up, make summer fun time memories with their people, watch ALL of the tv, eat ALL of the snacks, and genuinely soak up the spontaneity and spaciousness of the season. But let me be clear, this is not a “vacation” for the adults who will now do more grocery shopping, more laundry, more chauffeuring, more planning, and more hosting. I LOVE these parts of the season and I LOATH them. Both experiences can, and are for me, true.
I find myself in these early summer days leading up to summer “vacation”, doing my best to keep my anxiety at bay. The not awesome anticipation that I feel about how much I am going to yell at my kids to shut the front door, how often I am going to feel alone in being outsmarted by the Mess That Never Ends, how much bigger the grocery bill will be (all meals at home for the next ten weeks?!?!?!), and how will we also rest, play, adventure, and slow down.
Then I remember that on top of all of that it is also an election year summer. I remember that this summer there is also a war in Gaza (many wars elsewhere) raging, taking too many. I remember that this summer there is still COVID and other threats to our public health moving around. I remember the privilege that I have to take a vacation at all, to be able to buy the groceries that we want, and to pay our growing power bills! I remember that living this one, wondrous life is scary, messy, loud, expensive, and so so precious.
Something that sets us apart from many of our American brethren during the summer months is that, in Texas, we go inside. We socialize only when there is a pool, splash pad, or lake with shade. If you invite us over there better be some robust a/c. We go more often to the movies, to the mall, and to bed early because it’s too hot to do anything else. We get a little sad, depressed, and lonely in the summer in Texas. So as we settle into the next three months here and are facing down what we know will be the hottest one yet (how is that even possible) please be gentle with us. Spoiler: summer is not our best look here in Texas.
For those of you in northern climates, go go go! Soak up those sunny days, beach days, pool parties where shady spots aren’t a perquisite. Sit outside for lunch. Go to a rooftop bar. Go to a street party. Go camping and take in the lighting bugs. Dance in the rain. Look for rainbows. Eat a creamie for me! We live vicariously through you in the summer, as you do through us in the winter. Invite us for a visit! Remind us that there is hope!
In an attempt to care for myself and anyone else who feels overwhelm as summer rolls out in front of us, remember that there are TOOLS out there to help us to arrive on the other side of summer “vacation” having had the experience that we intend to. I am sharing some of my fave practices, checklists, foods, treats, reminders in case that they might bring you some comfort, care, and connection. Keep scrolling to check them out.
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This is a quick and easy tool to print out, put up around the house (I put one by each person’s bed, I laminated them and reuse them each year) for easy access. Oh hey, it’s a summer time morning and I just had a good sleep, woke up, and have a wide open day ahead of me. What ever shall I do???? Or, WHAT IS GOING ON, why are all of my kids melting down every night after days lounging at the pool? Or, why can’t I shake this vibe that the world is coming to an end RIGHT NOW and I am not doing enough????? This little list won’t solve global warming but it might help you navigate both a kid and/or adult meltdown with added grace this summer.
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Are you an adult person in your household who’s summer schedule is will require active toggling between work, kids, house, play, and all of the spaces in between? Me to and I SUCK at toggling. I realized a long time ago when our kids where small (they are teens now) that we’d all be happier if I compartmentalized better during the summer so that I could be more present to what was going on around me.
So in my attempt to work when it’s time to work + play when it’s time to play, these are a few steps I take as I ease into summer each year to make my work life a bit less jarring.
Set my email on OOO when I am taking half days or long weekends so I can rest assured that my clients and collaborators know I haven’t abandoned ship. I try to use this step as my final reward to getting through all that I needed to get through before taking a break. Let that dopamine flow!
Type up some thoughtful words like “Thanks for the text. I am so glad to report that I am taking a break from messages for (XXX amount of time) to soak up the summer vibes. I will get back with you soon! Then text this to yourself so it’s easy to access this message. Use liberally when you are at the pool, at the library, watching a movie, having a nap, whatever. The messages can wait, you living your best life can’t.
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Do you, too, yell TOO much in the summer because you live with ungrateful slobs who don’t value your time? I mean, kids? This is what our kitchen counter looks like A LOT. The rest of our hot, lived in house is also usually this messy, full to brimming with the accessories of busy life: shoes, backpacks, snack messes, books, phones, cans of half drank bubbly water, and so many sunglasses.
I am a person who prefers order, things in their places. Not because I want there to be a right and wrong way but because one of my love languages is efficiency and I hate looking for shit. So, each summer, I try to remind myself that all the food mess, drink mess, shoes, towels, are a luxury. A privilege. They are evidence of kids living their best lives and from time to time I can choose to laugh about how predictable the mess of it all is and not take it personally.
I am working really hard to raise good future roommates to other people (my kids are dudes so I am also trying not to raise Patriarchal assholes). I try to remind myself that we have to LEARN how to clean toilets, stoves, dishes. We aren’t born knowing how to do that. So I try, each summer, to focus on developing one specific roommate skill that I can foster in my kid. And then I do that for myself too.
This year I am choosing, for myself, to get better at handy-person stuff. Yesterday I fixed a window unit a/c! Go me! One kid is learning to drive this summer and the other one is taking on meal planning + grocery shopping list making. I anticipate a lot of grilled cheese and smoothies in our summer (that is what this kid currently loves to make) and so we will settle in and enjoy the way he is caring for us. I hope someone chooses to learn about putting laundry AWAY soon!
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Summer recipes/snacks that require little to no cooking that we love:
Frozen grapes
Iced team popsicles
All the smoothies
Cold meat sandwiches
Whatever is in the pantry nachos
Whatever is in the produce drawer sushi
Homemade ice cream (especially during peach season)
Cold pasta salads with chunks of cheese and bell peppers
Chips and salsa (this is 100% a dinner, btw)
Anything you can grill outside is a winner
Gazpacho
Cru de te (yep, this is absol fucking lutely a meal)
Adult lunchables (think fancy cheese, classy crackers, cold smoked meat, and some fruit)
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I hope that this summer is the one that you want it to be. I hope that joy, play, adventure, connection, rest, laughter, inspiration, and spaciousness flow your way with ease. I hope you find yourself on the other side of this year’s summer where you want to be in your body, heart, relationships, and spirit.
Stay hydrated, y’al!!!
Sera