I feel like these words are all too common in recent years yet I feel we are far away from actualizing them, from really meaning them: parents, put your own mask on first. Truly, though, what if we did this? What if we were conditioned, taught from childhood to see, to believe, that parents/caregivers, need to be well regulated before they move into care mode from everyone else and that this in super duper normal? What if!
Like, what might this actually look like? Childhoods where we see our parents resting when they are tired? Eating meals that they, too, enjoy? Listening to music that fills them up? Napping? Letting the dishes, laundry, yard, homemade halloween costume go in exchange for letting themselves and each other rest? I LOVE this and am trying to hard to lean into it this Hanukkah season.
What if on this night of Hanukkah we say, hey kids, tonight we are going to ________ and then _________ and then __________ so that I/we feel tended to, cared for, like you do because in this family we value everyone’s health and happiness equally. Sound good? What if we said, tonight’s candles are for the parents, the caregivers, the helpers?
Let’s give it a go, shall we?????
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, יְיָ
אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ, מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם,
אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָֽׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֺתָיו
וְצִוָּֽנוּ לְהַדְלִיק נֵר שֶׁל חֲנֻכָּה.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tsivanu l’hadlik ner shel Hanukkah.
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of all, who hallows us with mitzvot, commanding us to kindle the Hanukkah lights.
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, יְיָ
אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ, מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם,
שֶׁעָשָׂה נִסִּים לַאֲבוֹתֵֽינוּ וְאִמּוֹתֵֽינוּ
בַּיָּמִים הָהֵם בַּזְּמַן הַזֶּה.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, she-asah nisim laavoteinu v’imoteinu bayamim hahaeim baz’man hazeh.
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of all, who performed wonderous deeds for our ancestors in days of old at this season.